This time two years ago I was in TOTAL defeat mode. I couldn't believe what was happening. There had NEVER, in all our wait, been a month without allocations - then it happened - right when we were on the cusp of referral. I wasn't sleeping a wink - I was exhausted, defeated, sad, angry, uptight, crying, devastated, lost - totally. To speak to I probably appeared fine - but inside was a very, very different story. In some ways, it wasn't until I looked back that I realized how I was really feeling.
Then - 2 days later - on the 2nd November 05 at 8pm our time - the website changed and so did my life.
The journey from then to now has been totally, incredibly, amazing.
This morning I brought Eb into bed at about 6.30am where she had her bottle. After she finished her beautiful dark eyes looked straight into my eyes and she said 'cuddle?'. I responded with my arms and with my heart. My heart was pulled out of my chest with joy and love and my eyes cried those happy tears I have waited so, so long for.
Life was a blur between the 2nd Nov 06 when the website changed - then to the 5th Nov when we received the call and then the 7th Nov when we got to see our beautiful daughter and then - finally on the 25th Dec 06 when she was placed in my arms.
There have been times when I have resented the speed at which my little girl has grown. She's just turned 3 and it all seems to have gone so fast. While I was waiting I was determined NOT to wish away time because I didn't want it to go fast when we returned home - but it does and there is nothing I can do to change it. Now I look at her and how incredibly far she has come. It's taken almost 2 years - but now her love for me is so innocently obvious. I'm sure it will still continue to grow from here - but if I could freeze moments like this morning I would.
If you're waiting - hang in there - the wait is indescribably horrible - but the end result.....no matter your age....is worth it beyond words.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
A day at the farm
Playgroup went to a farm today! It was so much fun. Although we have almost a farm on the property behind us - nothing is quite like an official visit! The children had so much fun and I think the photo's show the real picture. Ebony loved the horse and actually managed to get up on one this time (very different to Dec last year!). But once it even showed signs of moving Eb was ready to get off! Progress I guess! She also got to hold a little baby chicken but I couldn't get a photo because I had to 'police' the event :) Enjoy some photo's!
Some of the group of us sitting down to morning tea
Eb and Sarah with the baby chick
Brushing the horse
Eb and Sarah running holding hands
and on the horse before it started to move!
Some of the group of us sitting down to morning tea
Eb and Sarah with the baby chick
Brushing the horse
Eb and Sarah running holding hands
and on the horse before it started to move!
What's been happening?
Sorry! it's been a while since my last 'real' update. I'm going to add a few together!
This was taken on 12th Oct and is very special because the outfit Eb has on belonged to Autumn-Grace. Autumn-Grace is the daughter of our dear friends who have moved to Cambodia as Missionaries and are doing an awesome job over there. We miss them terribly.
This was taken when my darling husband called me and said 'wanna go for a walk around the lake?' when he was on his way home - I was so happy that he called - we need times just like these. He has been so busy trying to keep us 'afloat' and I've been so sad that he's just not had time to enjoy our family.....times like these are more precious than words can express....
This was taken on 'Daddy's birthday'. I was cleaning (again) and found that the place I clean has the most amazingly beautiful back garden - so I decided to make the most of it and do a photo shoot. If only Daddy could have been in the photo's!
These were also taken on Gra's birthday....a fun little girl playing. I surprised Gra with a BBQ down at the local playground and some lovely friends joined us for the evening. The weather has been so beautiful - but this night was...FREEZING!
23rd October .... cleaning teeth Ebby style!
My sleeping beauty asleep on the 23rd October...
and then her waking up happy as ever!
Another gorgeous photo shoot in the beautiful backyard where I clean (taken 24/10)
And finally a special visit from a wonderful Uncle! Eb's Uncle Tez (my brother) came for the weekend and Eb and Tez further cemented their relationship. Eb went for days after he left 'looking' for Uncle Tez at our home to play with! It was a quick weekend - but it was wonderful...thanks for taking the time Tez!
This was taken on 12th Oct and is very special because the outfit Eb has on belonged to Autumn-Grace. Autumn-Grace is the daughter of our dear friends who have moved to Cambodia as Missionaries and are doing an awesome job over there. We miss them terribly.
This was taken when my darling husband called me and said 'wanna go for a walk around the lake?' when he was on his way home - I was so happy that he called - we need times just like these. He has been so busy trying to keep us 'afloat' and I've been so sad that he's just not had time to enjoy our family.....times like these are more precious than words can express....
This was taken on 'Daddy's birthday'. I was cleaning (again) and found that the place I clean has the most amazingly beautiful back garden - so I decided to make the most of it and do a photo shoot. If only Daddy could have been in the photo's!
These were also taken on Gra's birthday....a fun little girl playing. I surprised Gra with a BBQ down at the local playground and some lovely friends joined us for the evening. The weather has been so beautiful - but this night was...FREEZING!
23rd October .... cleaning teeth Ebby style!
My sleeping beauty asleep on the 23rd October...
and then her waking up happy as ever!
Another gorgeous photo shoot in the beautiful backyard where I clean (taken 24/10)
And finally a special visit from a wonderful Uncle! Eb's Uncle Tez (my brother) came for the weekend and Eb and Tez further cemented their relationship. Eb went for days after he left 'looking' for Uncle Tez at our home to play with! It was a quick weekend - but it was wonderful...thanks for taking the time Tez!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
A day in Albury with Sarah and Susan
We had a lovely day today. Susan asked if we would like to join them on a visit to Albury. Sarah had swimming lessons and her normal 'lift' wasn't going to work this time - so I was thrilled to accept! Ebony just loved the pool again after such a long time (took all my coaxing to get her out!) and then we had a lovely interlude at a park in Wodonga. What a special day. The girls got on quite well considering there is about 18 months between them - enjoy some photo's.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Dry night
Things happen so quickly in the lives of our little ones.
I can't believe it, but Eb had a dry nappy this morning.
Now I'm not really expecting that this will last for one moment - but it's a start.
Having said that, I feel like it's another 'goodbye' moment. All of a sudden I have this gorgeous little girl with a tiny bottom 'cause there's no longer a nappy there. Another of many 'BIG' changes and it makes me just a tiny bit sad...probably sounds strange - but that's just me. Saying goodbye to things can be hard when you know you'll never visit them again. Yesterday I packed away most of her cloth nappies (actually I put them away as rags) along with the water proofs (some unopened) and sorted out the 'little swimmers' she'll probably never use...not to mention the potty and toilet seat I had for her! Oh well - luckily Tanya who looks after Eb and has become a lovely friend is having a baby so there will be someone to pass them on to!
Here's the 'new' look!
I can't believe it, but Eb had a dry nappy this morning.
Now I'm not really expecting that this will last for one moment - but it's a start.
Having said that, I feel like it's another 'goodbye' moment. All of a sudden I have this gorgeous little girl with a tiny bottom 'cause there's no longer a nappy there. Another of many 'BIG' changes and it makes me just a tiny bit sad...probably sounds strange - but that's just me. Saying goodbye to things can be hard when you know you'll never visit them again. Yesterday I packed away most of her cloth nappies (actually I put them away as rags) along with the water proofs (some unopened) and sorted out the 'little swimmers' she'll probably never use...not to mention the potty and toilet seat I had for her! Oh well - luckily Tanya who looks after Eb and has become a lovely friend is having a baby so there will be someone to pass them on to!
Here's the 'new' look!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
My little sponge
Gosh things are changing fast!
How is this conversation we had?....(I've just finished doing some ironing)....
Ebony: 'no-more Mummy' Mummy: 'that's right honey - all finished' Ebony: 'bye-bye....see you yater'
Eb was given this beautiful Fisher Price Little People house for her birthday. She's enjoyed it, but not really played as much as I thought she would....until I started to play with it and show her the movement of the "Mummy, Daddy, Baby, Pussycat" around the house.
This morning she was playing with it and I said that Mummy needed to do some washing - Ebony came back to me and said 'no.......Mummy on computer' and she proceeded to move Mummy up into the office.....I think there's a message there!
Then there's McDonalds Farm!
Ebby: "Ee Ii Ee Ii Ho' " - getting old McDonald and Santa mixed up!
She also says Motor Bike and Motor Mower very clearly - but it's not uncommon for her to say Mower Bike when she sees either of them :)
In the mornings when it's time for Daddy to go to work it often goes like this....
Mummy: Daddy's going to work - time to say bye bye to Daddy
Ebby: No!
Mummy: You must say bye bye to Daddy
Ebby: No bye bye .......
By this stage Daddy will have gone and snuck a kiss (or given up!)
Then Ebby's looking out the window wistfully saying.....'poor Daddy'
....this conversation can be about dolls/snugli/books anything. She obviously detects in my voice that someone/thing will be sad about her treatment of them/it and then she brings in the 'poor whatever'.
She also had two pieces of toast in her hands - next thing she was saying 'cuddle' and then 'beautiful'....I'm obviously teaching her something right!....even if it is toast.
She loves playing this game where I pretend I'm asleep and she has to kiss me to wake me - which she does readily now. As soon as I pretend I'm asleep I get a kiss....great way of getting a kiss - Daddy's learning too.
She isn't waking well from her afternoon sleeps still. It's just a bit of a bizarre time - IF she wakes of her own accord she's kinda ok - if I have to wake her (which I've been doing because it's harder to get her down on time at nights) she really struggles. Now when I say struggles, she's very, very happy to just sit on my lap, so I'm not really complaining. We have been blessed with the best sleeper I know that's for sure!
Well, I'm sure there's more. She's now 14.7kg and still 95cm tall.
We're having a urine test done to see if she has been effected by the Melamine issues in China - but all seems well at this point - she's fit as a Malley bull as the saying goes!
She absolutely loves being outside - she plays in the stones or with the outside tea set we've got - or she helps me move mulch - doesn't matter what it is - she just loves outdoors.....oh! and Dora and Bindy too :)
How is this conversation we had?....(I've just finished doing some ironing)....
Ebony: 'no-more Mummy' Mummy: 'that's right honey - all finished' Ebony: 'bye-bye....see you yater'
Eb was given this beautiful Fisher Price Little People house for her birthday. She's enjoyed it, but not really played as much as I thought she would....until I started to play with it and show her the movement of the "Mummy, Daddy, Baby, Pussycat" around the house.
This morning she was playing with it and I said that Mummy needed to do some washing - Ebony came back to me and said 'no.......Mummy on computer' and she proceeded to move Mummy up into the office.....I think there's a message there!
Then there's McDonalds Farm!
Ebby: "Ee Ii Ee Ii Ho' " - getting old McDonald and Santa mixed up!
She also says Motor Bike and Motor Mower very clearly - but it's not uncommon for her to say Mower Bike when she sees either of them :)
In the mornings when it's time for Daddy to go to work it often goes like this....
Mummy: Daddy's going to work - time to say bye bye to Daddy
Ebby: No!
Mummy: You must say bye bye to Daddy
Ebby: No bye bye .......
By this stage Daddy will have gone and snuck a kiss (or given up!)
Then Ebby's looking out the window wistfully saying.....'poor Daddy'
....this conversation can be about dolls/snugli/books anything. She obviously detects in my voice that someone/thing will be sad about her treatment of them/it and then she brings in the 'poor whatever'.
She also had two pieces of toast in her hands - next thing she was saying 'cuddle' and then 'beautiful'....I'm obviously teaching her something right!....even if it is toast.
She loves playing this game where I pretend I'm asleep and she has to kiss me to wake me - which she does readily now. As soon as I pretend I'm asleep I get a kiss....great way of getting a kiss - Daddy's learning too.
She isn't waking well from her afternoon sleeps still. It's just a bit of a bizarre time - IF she wakes of her own accord she's kinda ok - if I have to wake her (which I've been doing because it's harder to get her down on time at nights) she really struggles. Now when I say struggles, she's very, very happy to just sit on my lap, so I'm not really complaining. We have been blessed with the best sleeper I know that's for sure!
Well, I'm sure there's more. She's now 14.7kg and still 95cm tall.
We're having a urine test done to see if she has been effected by the Melamine issues in China - but all seems well at this point - she's fit as a Malley bull as the saying goes!
She absolutely loves being outside - she plays in the stones or with the outside tea set we've got - or she helps me move mulch - doesn't matter what it is - she just loves outdoors.....oh! and Dora and Bindy too :)
Monday, October 20, 2008
Have I ever mentioned how much my girl loves to dance?
This was taken at our Church on yesterday. The children start with some songs and my darling carefree and uninhibited little girl got right into the action!
Friday, October 17, 2008
Toilet training continued....
I can't believe how easily Eb seems to have worked out what's going on. Today is really only day 7 and she's been marvellous. I think the only 'accident' I've had since Monday was during one afternoon sleep which is quite understandable. Now I'm getting her out of her nappy as soon as she wakes and she seems to be telling me even if she has a nappy on. So my laundry has changed quite a bit! I've barely got nappies to wash (yep! I have been doing cloth nappies for the whole (almost) 22 months!....except when we go away or out and at night time). I even took her over to Bright on Wednesday and out and about yesterday and she just let me know when she needed the toilet. Luckily she didn't ask when we were in the car! So - I'm not saying that we're all the way - but we are FAR further than I dreamed we would get this soon. I honestly thought this 'attempt' would be just an attempt! now it seems she's much smarter than me!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Toilet training, dress ups, dancing and bandaids!
Lots happening.
Toilet Training:
I've started REALLY focusing on toilet training - Saturday was a bit of a nightmare with 4 sets of 'padded undies' and clothes as well (and shoes!) having to be changed and washed. But by early afternoon we were well on our way!
Eb has been so good really. For about a month, every time I have left her with no nappy on in the mornings (especially those mornings that I don't have to be gone early) she has been pretty good at telling me she needs to go. But this weekend I decided to really put in a big effort. Yesterday she had to wear a nappy to go to Church, but when we got home I went straight back to the undies and she only had one accident - she's doing SO well and I'm so proud of her. This morning she still had her night nappy on but came up to me and told me she needed 'toilet'! Thankfully we have a day at home mostly today. It's been a LOT of work - especially Saturday when I was out in the garden and had to keep stopping to change her....and then later to take her to the toilet every time she felt she needed to go (even if she didn't really) - I ended up exhausted but satisfied. (I went to bed at 9.15pm! - unheard of for me).
Dress-ups:
after our weekend with Eliza, Kate and Jim I decided to get a couple of things that Eb could use as 'dress ups' - I think the photo's tell the story really - so cute to see her enjoying being a real little girl :) (I might add I have the cutest photo of her with NOTHING on accept her fluffy shoes....very cute - but not for a blog :)
Dancing:
Well - I decided to try Ebony at Jazz Ballet again. I tried in Term 2 and she loved it, but she wasn't able to take instruction - so the teacher suggested Term3 - I though maybe Term 4. Well - she's just not ready. She did the 'Koala cling' again. She just didn't want to leave my arms and if I attempted to put her down she screamed. Now, having said that, she had a really strange morning. She was upset while I was cleaning and then when we went to the local store to do the shopping she screamed her way around the store - something she's never done before. I've decided I'll try one more time this term but I think it will be a next year thing. What's the hurry anyway I say!?
this was a bit of a 'mock up' dance outfit - but she loved it!
Bandaids:
yesterday just after Kidz Church finished Ebony went running full pelt out of the room and tripped on her new sandals and landed on her elbow - she cried a bit at the time but was easily distracted (even though there was blood for the first time ever with her). I took a while before anyone could come up with some bandaids (the First Aid box seriously needs stocking up!) and by that stage she had worked herself into a bit of a state - probably because she wasn't allowed to move too much or there would be blood over everything (it was really only a bad graze but was in an area where it just kept oozing). We had to take her home and I had to sit in the back seat with her (rare occurence). Then she just wanted to sit in one of our laps and didn't want anything to eat. I finally got her to bed with a little food in her belly by about 2pm! Getting Betadine and bandaids on her is not fun let me tell you! Either was the Panadol when she woke in a terrible mood either. Finally, once the Panadol kicked in she was back to normal for the rest of the day. Today she is still coming up to me saying 'hurt' - but I'm just kissing it better and saying it's healing and she's starting to accept it! Thank goodness. We've had such a tough little cookie until this episode.
Toilet Training:
I've started REALLY focusing on toilet training - Saturday was a bit of a nightmare with 4 sets of 'padded undies' and clothes as well (and shoes!) having to be changed and washed. But by early afternoon we were well on our way!
Eb has been so good really. For about a month, every time I have left her with no nappy on in the mornings (especially those mornings that I don't have to be gone early) she has been pretty good at telling me she needs to go. But this weekend I decided to really put in a big effort. Yesterday she had to wear a nappy to go to Church, but when we got home I went straight back to the undies and she only had one accident - she's doing SO well and I'm so proud of her. This morning she still had her night nappy on but came up to me and told me she needed 'toilet'! Thankfully we have a day at home mostly today. It's been a LOT of work - especially Saturday when I was out in the garden and had to keep stopping to change her....and then later to take her to the toilet every time she felt she needed to go (even if she didn't really) - I ended up exhausted but satisfied. (I went to bed at 9.15pm! - unheard of for me).
Dress-ups:
after our weekend with Eliza, Kate and Jim I decided to get a couple of things that Eb could use as 'dress ups' - I think the photo's tell the story really - so cute to see her enjoying being a real little girl :) (I might add I have the cutest photo of her with NOTHING on accept her fluffy shoes....very cute - but not for a blog :)
Dancing:
Well - I decided to try Ebony at Jazz Ballet again. I tried in Term 2 and she loved it, but she wasn't able to take instruction - so the teacher suggested Term3 - I though maybe Term 4. Well - she's just not ready. She did the 'Koala cling' again. She just didn't want to leave my arms and if I attempted to put her down she screamed. Now, having said that, she had a really strange morning. She was upset while I was cleaning and then when we went to the local store to do the shopping she screamed her way around the store - something she's never done before. I've decided I'll try one more time this term but I think it will be a next year thing. What's the hurry anyway I say!?
this was a bit of a 'mock up' dance outfit - but she loved it!
Bandaids:
yesterday just after Kidz Church finished Ebony went running full pelt out of the room and tripped on her new sandals and landed on her elbow - she cried a bit at the time but was easily distracted (even though there was blood for the first time ever with her). I took a while before anyone could come up with some bandaids (the First Aid box seriously needs stocking up!) and by that stage she had worked herself into a bit of a state - probably because she wasn't allowed to move too much or there would be blood over everything (it was really only a bad graze but was in an area where it just kept oozing). We had to take her home and I had to sit in the back seat with her (rare occurence). Then she just wanted to sit in one of our laps and didn't want anything to eat. I finally got her to bed with a little food in her belly by about 2pm! Getting Betadine and bandaids on her is not fun let me tell you! Either was the Panadol when she woke in a terrible mood either. Finally, once the Panadol kicked in she was back to normal for the rest of the day. Today she is still coming up to me saying 'hurt' - but I'm just kissing it better and saying it's healing and she's starting to accept it! Thank goodness. We've had such a tough little cookie until this episode.
Monday, October 06, 2008
Suixi girls 3rd birthday celebration weekend
....well it was a whole weekend for us anyway!
We left on Friday and drove straight to Avalon to take Daddy to the plane to visit his daughter Kim and her husband Michael in Brisbane for the weekend. Then we drove to Chris, Ruth and Mei's in Clifton Hill where we stayed for the weekend.
We had such a wonderful weekend and Ebony and Mei got on famously. I've not seen Eb have so many 'happy, laughing' times as she did this particular weekend. She just loved it and it's obvious in some of the photo's!
First thing Saturday we headed off to the Animal Farm in Collingwood......
...a goat
Chris showing Eb how to milk Patsy the cow
Eb and Mei posing for a photo
...and we didn't leave the 'Ebby do' at home either.....!!!
Later that day I was able to watch the girls just simply have fun together - their smiles are so contagious! They were playing in Mei's 'Barbie car' and just giggling and giggling for ages.
Then it was fun inside just watching a bit of tv and then dancing to Hi-5.
Fun in the 'Barbie' car
watching a bit of TV
loving Hi-5
Sunday was 'THE' day for the celebration and it was an absolutely beautiful day. Camille, Vicki and Tim opened their home in Northcote for us all and the girls had so much fun. What joy it is to see how they have all grown into such gorgeous little girls - not really toddlers any more. They all got on so well - sometimes playing together, sometimes on their own. Very few 'disagreements' which was so lovely!
I made the cake and LOVED doing it - hope you enjoy it too. (also hope you can see how they have changed from their 'allocation' photo's).
Here are some photo's of the six of them about to tuck into the cake.
And finally - I took some photo's of Eb and Mei in the Wisteria that is growing at Chris and Ruth's front door - how cute?????
and then it was 'bye bye'....
We left on Friday and drove straight to Avalon to take Daddy to the plane to visit his daughter Kim and her husband Michael in Brisbane for the weekend. Then we drove to Chris, Ruth and Mei's in Clifton Hill where we stayed for the weekend.
We had such a wonderful weekend and Ebony and Mei got on famously. I've not seen Eb have so many 'happy, laughing' times as she did this particular weekend. She just loved it and it's obvious in some of the photo's!
First thing Saturday we headed off to the Animal Farm in Collingwood......
...a goat
Chris showing Eb how to milk Patsy the cow
Eb and Mei posing for a photo
...and we didn't leave the 'Ebby do' at home either.....!!!
Later that day I was able to watch the girls just simply have fun together - their smiles are so contagious! They were playing in Mei's 'Barbie car' and just giggling and giggling for ages.
Then it was fun inside just watching a bit of tv and then dancing to Hi-5.
Fun in the 'Barbie' car
watching a bit of TV
loving Hi-5
Sunday was 'THE' day for the celebration and it was an absolutely beautiful day. Camille, Vicki and Tim opened their home in Northcote for us all and the girls had so much fun. What joy it is to see how they have all grown into such gorgeous little girls - not really toddlers any more. They all got on so well - sometimes playing together, sometimes on their own. Very few 'disagreements' which was so lovely!
I made the cake and LOVED doing it - hope you enjoy it too. (also hope you can see how they have changed from their 'allocation' photo's).
Here are some photo's of the six of them about to tuck into the cake.
And finally - I took some photo's of Eb and Mei in the Wisteria that is growing at Chris and Ruth's front door - how cute?????
and then it was 'bye bye'....
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Springtime
I thought we'd take a walk on a beautiful Spring morning so we headed down to the lake near town and just enjoyed the sunshine and some time together......
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