I don't know that I will approach or 'celebrate' a milestone month without thinking of Ebony's birth mummy and daddy. I weep for what they are missing out on - for the little toddler she is and wish so strongly that they could somehow see how happy and wonderful she is. But I can't and I think that will always make me sad.
The days and months are running into each other more than anyone could imagine...especially me.
Times have been fairly tough at the moment...on Ebony and on me. Trying to spend time with my little girl in amongst packing, unpacking, cleaning and cleaning....and cleaning - haven't been easy. I know she's suffering to some extent and so am I. I'm so exhausted all the time - but I know this will change. Photo's will come in the next post - there is just too much happening at the moment and I can barely write I'm so exhausted....
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Something happened today...
I don't want to forget a single moment if that was possible - but it isn't.
Something did happen today that showed me how much my life has changed.
We were at our soon to be new home and Ebony was sitting on the kitchen bench (while I was delving in the lunch esky) as she does because it's been much safer up there than on the ground! and we don't have chairs for her yet. Never been a problem in any way.
I was just coming up from my bending and Ebony launched herself at me - totally trusting that I would be ready for her. Actually I was in the nappy bag when I think of it because the nappy ended up metres away! I must have flung it as I worked my arms toward grabbing her. She would have ended up face down on the tiles and it wouldn't have been nice. I was shocked and terrified - I've never had a situation that was quite like that - I fought tears and my shock caused Ebony to cry too. She wasn't hurt at all. Graham was there and saw the end result and all he could say was "you are so white" - that shows my shock as I clung her to me and tears rolled down my face. Why do I say this? because it shows me that I am no longer 'I' - I'm 'we'. It shows me a glimpse of what I would do for this girl and what it would mean to me if she was hurt. I've never been through feelings like that before - I know I've suffered when Graham has hurt himself - but he is an adult and it's so totally different to have a child dependent on you - and to have her really trusting me - especially with where she comes from. It's an awesome responsibility and one I don't take lightly. I just never realized until today what this dimension of being a 'mummy' means.
Something did happen today that showed me how much my life has changed.
We were at our soon to be new home and Ebony was sitting on the kitchen bench (while I was delving in the lunch esky) as she does because it's been much safer up there than on the ground! and we don't have chairs for her yet. Never been a problem in any way.
I was just coming up from my bending and Ebony launched herself at me - totally trusting that I would be ready for her. Actually I was in the nappy bag when I think of it because the nappy ended up metres away! I must have flung it as I worked my arms toward grabbing her. She would have ended up face down on the tiles and it wouldn't have been nice. I was shocked and terrified - I've never had a situation that was quite like that - I fought tears and my shock caused Ebony to cry too. She wasn't hurt at all. Graham was there and saw the end result and all he could say was "you are so white" - that shows my shock as I clung her to me and tears rolled down my face. Why do I say this? because it shows me that I am no longer 'I' - I'm 'we'. It shows me a glimpse of what I would do for this girl and what it would mean to me if she was hurt. I've never been through feelings like that before - I know I've suffered when Graham has hurt himself - but he is an adult and it's so totally different to have a child dependent on you - and to have her really trusting me - especially with where she comes from. It's an awesome responsibility and one I don't take lightly. I just never realized until today what this dimension of being a 'mummy' means.
Monday, May 14, 2007
The day that was...Mothers Day!
What a great day it was! Believe it or not I saw Mothers Day for the first time at 12.20am! when Ebony woke up crying. I bought her into bed with us and then, after an hour, decided none of us were sleeping, so headed out to the lounge room - when, another hour later she starting saying more of her 'fun' things - I decided it was time for bed! I put her back to bed 2 hours after getting her up - at 2.20am and never heard another word until morning! I was presented with a beautiful, beautiful card from Gra and Ebony - one titled 'mummy' - the words I've LONGED to see on a card - it was beautiful.
Then it was off to Church where we experienced a beautiful heartfelt and very emotional message from our Pastor and 2 of his girls - it was very touching.
Then the fun started...we headed home for lunch, then donned our outdoor clothes and headed to the new home....just the 3 of us - and planted plants! Yep! it was great fun. Ebony slept for 2 1/2 hours while I worked in the garden and then we she woke she helped mummy and daddy in whatever they were doing. Not long after Ebony and I headed home for a bath and got ready to go out to dinner at 'The Bogong Hotel' - it was a lovely night and Ebony was very well behaved and, after staying in her highchair for over an hour, she decided it was time to entertain everyone else in the Hotel! I took great delight in watching her interact with others. It was really fun. We then headed home, took a couple of photo's and Eb went to bed while we relaxed for a while.
Nothing spectacular - just a beautiful memorable family day doing what we love and getting our home ready to move in - hopefully this weekend or next!
Ebony is growing and changing every single day. She is so much fun - I said to Gra yesterday morning that I think she's going to be quite a character and she seems to have a real sense of humour - that will be good for us all! Here's some of our fun photo's!
Then it was off to Church where we experienced a beautiful heartfelt and very emotional message from our Pastor and 2 of his girls - it was very touching.
Then the fun started...we headed home for lunch, then donned our outdoor clothes and headed to the new home....just the 3 of us - and planted plants! Yep! it was great fun. Ebony slept for 2 1/2 hours while I worked in the garden and then we she woke she helped mummy and daddy in whatever they were doing. Not long after Ebony and I headed home for a bath and got ready to go out to dinner at 'The Bogong Hotel' - it was a lovely night and Ebony was very well behaved and, after staying in her highchair for over an hour, she decided it was time to entertain everyone else in the Hotel! I took great delight in watching her interact with others. It was really fun. We then headed home, took a couple of photo's and Eb went to bed while we relaxed for a while.
Nothing spectacular - just a beautiful memorable family day doing what we love and getting our home ready to move in - hopefully this weekend or next!
Ebony is growing and changing every single day. She is so much fun - I said to Gra yesterday morning that I think she's going to be quite a character and she seems to have a real sense of humour - that will be good for us all! Here's some of our fun photo's!
My girl
I'll be doing a Mothers Day post straight after this one...but wanted to share some more of my 'joys'.
Ebony is still very much a mummy's girl at the moment (very appropriate for Mothers Day!). I love it :)
She is just a joy to be with and we fill our days with so much fun. She still, constantly, wants to be "ub" and I just do it whenever I can. She's now back to doing Hip, hip 'hooray' and lifts her hands above her head. She still loves 'Twinkle, twinkle and is often saying 'ubabov' so we can sing with her.
She loves music and will 'dance' as soon as it's on - so, so cute to watch.
She's taken to 'launching' of the top step of our external stairs as soon as I head up them to pick her up (after putting all the 'stuff' in the car!) - so cute, but a little dangerous - not sure how to stop this one.
She loves 'run, run, run' when we chase her.
One of my greatest joys at the moment is when she is a bit unsure, or upset, she will cuddle into me including tucking her hands under her body against my chest. Melts my heart! She's giving kisses with a bit of encouragement.
She is wearing her hair up a lot these days and is very good at leaving it that way remarkably!
She's sleeping beautifully during the day - regardless of where she is - here or at the new home. 2-3 hours without fail. Praise God!
She cries out most nights, a number of times, but not enough to get me up. Not sure what that's all about at this stage.
She still loves her veggies and really dislikes anything tinned! Can't complain really. She also loves chicken, meat and fish. Wow! how lucky am I?
She's beginning to enjoy cleaning her teeth (well sort of!).
What else? uhmmm....
so many things, but can't think at the moment :)
I know I say it often, but I'm so besotted and overwhelmed at God's goodness in giving me the perfect little girl for me. She is strong willed, but I pray that will turn out the right way! She sings her little heart out in the car - loves people so much - enjoys the other children at playgroup - LOVES her daddy..the list goes on.
Well, I'll let you just enjoy some more photo's in the meantime ....she's still in some size 0's and fast moving into 1's. She still about 11kg by our scales - so not much weight gain, but plenty of height! The 'hair' one is after I took her 'pigtails' out and after she'd had a sleep - gotta love it!
Ebony is still very much a mummy's girl at the moment (very appropriate for Mothers Day!). I love it :)
She is just a joy to be with and we fill our days with so much fun. She still, constantly, wants to be "ub" and I just do it whenever I can. She's now back to doing Hip, hip 'hooray' and lifts her hands above her head. She still loves 'Twinkle, twinkle and is often saying 'ubabov' so we can sing with her.
She loves music and will 'dance' as soon as it's on - so, so cute to watch.
She's taken to 'launching' of the top step of our external stairs as soon as I head up them to pick her up (after putting all the 'stuff' in the car!) - so cute, but a little dangerous - not sure how to stop this one.
She loves 'run, run, run' when we chase her.
One of my greatest joys at the moment is when she is a bit unsure, or upset, she will cuddle into me including tucking her hands under her body against my chest. Melts my heart! She's giving kisses with a bit of encouragement.
She is wearing her hair up a lot these days and is very good at leaving it that way remarkably!
She's sleeping beautifully during the day - regardless of where she is - here or at the new home. 2-3 hours without fail. Praise God!
She cries out most nights, a number of times, but not enough to get me up. Not sure what that's all about at this stage.
She still loves her veggies and really dislikes anything tinned! Can't complain really. She also loves chicken, meat and fish. Wow! how lucky am I?
She's beginning to enjoy cleaning her teeth (well sort of!).
What else? uhmmm....
so many things, but can't think at the moment :)
I know I say it often, but I'm so besotted and overwhelmed at God's goodness in giving me the perfect little girl for me. She is strong willed, but I pray that will turn out the right way! She sings her little heart out in the car - loves people so much - enjoys the other children at playgroup - LOVES her daddy..the list goes on.
Well, I'll let you just enjoy some more photo's in the meantime ....she's still in some size 0's and fast moving into 1's. She still about 11kg by our scales - so not much weight gain, but plenty of height! The 'hair' one is after I took her 'pigtails' out and after she'd had a sleep - gotta love it!
Thursday, May 10, 2007
The Suixi (swayshi) girls reunion......
Well, what a weekend it was.
We stayed with Mei's mummy and daddy (Ruth and Chris) Friday and Saturday night. Unfortunately Ebony hadn't had much sleep on Thursday night because we went to friends place for a beautiful dinner - then Friday was VERY late - she didn't get to bed until 11.30PM! latest night ever since being with us.
We woke Saturday morning (normal time) and helped Ruth for a while - then Ebony had a sleep and I went and did a little shopping (how I miss city shopping!).
When I returned Ebony was still asleep - and then the others started to arrive.
When Ebony woke I had to dress her ready for the day - all a bit of a rush, but fun anyway.
It was such a great day - with lots of fun times for the girls. They all did so well - played either together or near each other most of the time. Ruth and Chris did an outstanding job, with their deck almost complete for the day. There was food supplied by everyone - but I have to give credit to Mandy Moo for her fabulous 'tea cups'.....
It was also 'fun' to try to get another 'group' photo like we did in China!!!!! 6 girls between 16 and 20 months....photo!!! you have to be kidding....this was about the best I could do. I've also added a photo of the 6 girls on the famous 'red couch' in china on 3/1/07 for you all to compare!
Well, our weekend continued on from there and we didn't get home until Monday lunchtime - but it was well worth it. We got to spend good time with Ruth, Chris and Mei - Mei was in the cot directly beside Ebony - which will always be special to us.
Fun was had by all - the 'fish ponds' that surround the deck at Ruth and Chris's got a few extra fingers and toes in them (even Mandy Moo's) and the new deck got a good try out. The rain held out and it was just great to see everyone doing so well and obviously so happy as their new 'forever families'.....
It was also lovely to see our 'education session' buddies - Aislinn who arrived home to Australia in September 06 and newly home "Pearl Chun Ni" join us....here is a photo of Sandi and Aislinn....
We stayed with Mei's mummy and daddy (Ruth and Chris) Friday and Saturday night. Unfortunately Ebony hadn't had much sleep on Thursday night because we went to friends place for a beautiful dinner - then Friday was VERY late - she didn't get to bed until 11.30PM! latest night ever since being with us.
We woke Saturday morning (normal time) and helped Ruth for a while - then Ebony had a sleep and I went and did a little shopping (how I miss city shopping!).
When I returned Ebony was still asleep - and then the others started to arrive.
When Ebony woke I had to dress her ready for the day - all a bit of a rush, but fun anyway.
It was such a great day - with lots of fun times for the girls. They all did so well - played either together or near each other most of the time. Ruth and Chris did an outstanding job, with their deck almost complete for the day. There was food supplied by everyone - but I have to give credit to Mandy Moo for her fabulous 'tea cups'.....
It was also 'fun' to try to get another 'group' photo like we did in China!!!!! 6 girls between 16 and 20 months....photo!!! you have to be kidding....this was about the best I could do. I've also added a photo of the 6 girls on the famous 'red couch' in china on 3/1/07 for you all to compare!
Well, our weekend continued on from there and we didn't get home until Monday lunchtime - but it was well worth it. We got to spend good time with Ruth, Chris and Mei - Mei was in the cot directly beside Ebony - which will always be special to us.
Fun was had by all - the 'fish ponds' that surround the deck at Ruth and Chris's got a few extra fingers and toes in them (even Mandy Moo's) and the new deck got a good try out. The rain held out and it was just great to see everyone doing so well and obviously so happy as their new 'forever families'.....
It was also lovely to see our 'education session' buddies - Aislinn who arrived home to Australia in September 06 and newly home "Pearl Chun Ni" join us....here is a photo of Sandi and Aislinn....
Contemplating Mothers Day...
So, so many sad Mothers Day gone by - what will this one mean? I have a dear friend who lost her mum 3 years ago and I'd never before thought of the sadness of Mothers Day without my mum. My friend has suffered a double dose of pain over the past 3 years as she, like me, has traveled the road of adoption - this year she celebrates her first Mothers Day as a mum - but without her mum. Her special day will still be tinged with sadness. I guess one day I will have to face Mothers Day without my mum - but I hope not soon.
Graham and I were talking about buying me something special for Mothers Day - something to remember the day with. I went away for a couple of days and today I said to him - 'I really - really don't need anything - you have given me the best Mothers Day present you could ever have given me by giving me Ebony.' I couldn't have done it without him. I don't need another thing - she's it and she will always be the reason I now celebrate Mothers Day.
I don't think I will ever forget the pain of years gone by - even now, when I see a 'Mothers Day' advertisement on TV it takes me back. I'm sure the years will slowly wash away that pain. I'm looking forward to just celebrating this amazing occasion - at the age of 47 - with my husband and my daughter.
Now for my little Ebony. Gosh she is growing fast...and changing. She's so totally beautiful and so much fun to be around. She's still not saying a lot, but I know that will come. She's experimenting a lot with sounds and she is definitely comprehending even more. At the moment she loves "up" and says it more clearly now. She loves 'run, run, run' when I chase her around the house and we both fall over together giggling. Yes! she giggles and I LOVE it - it sounds SO cute! She now says "mow" cow too (how cute is that!) She still gets incredibly excited morning and night when she knows her bottle is on the way and LOVES her bath! She is sleeping incredibly well - has averaged 2 1/2 - 3 hours during the day most days this week - and two of those have been at the new house while I've worked in the garden. I've been amazed because we have sheep/geese/roosters beside us (right near her window) and I've had to keep the window open so I know when she wakes) and she has still slept almost 3 hours there! Amazing child. Maybe it's another growth spurt! She is just starting to 'stack' things too - not just destruct anymore. She still loves outside and loves it when Daddy comes home.
We had a big weekend with a get together of the 6 Suixi (Orphanage) girls. I think the mummy's in particular were actually looking forward to the day more than the girls !?! - but it was more wonderful than words can express to see the other girls and how well they are growing and developing. It's gorgeous. I just wish we lived a little closer! I'll post more info in the next post.
Graham and I were talking about buying me something special for Mothers Day - something to remember the day with. I went away for a couple of days and today I said to him - 'I really - really don't need anything - you have given me the best Mothers Day present you could ever have given me by giving me Ebony.' I couldn't have done it without him. I don't need another thing - she's it and she will always be the reason I now celebrate Mothers Day.
I don't think I will ever forget the pain of years gone by - even now, when I see a 'Mothers Day' advertisement on TV it takes me back. I'm sure the years will slowly wash away that pain. I'm looking forward to just celebrating this amazing occasion - at the age of 47 - with my husband and my daughter.
Now for my little Ebony. Gosh she is growing fast...and changing. She's so totally beautiful and so much fun to be around. She's still not saying a lot, but I know that will come. She's experimenting a lot with sounds and she is definitely comprehending even more. At the moment she loves "up" and says it more clearly now. She loves 'run, run, run' when I chase her around the house and we both fall over together giggling. Yes! she giggles and I LOVE it - it sounds SO cute! She now says "mow" cow too (how cute is that!) She still gets incredibly excited morning and night when she knows her bottle is on the way and LOVES her bath! She is sleeping incredibly well - has averaged 2 1/2 - 3 hours during the day most days this week - and two of those have been at the new house while I've worked in the garden. I've been amazed because we have sheep/geese/roosters beside us (right near her window) and I've had to keep the window open so I know when she wakes) and she has still slept almost 3 hours there! Amazing child. Maybe it's another growth spurt! She is just starting to 'stack' things too - not just destruct anymore. She still loves outside and loves it when Daddy comes home.
We had a big weekend with a get together of the 6 Suixi (Orphanage) girls. I think the mummy's in particular were actually looking forward to the day more than the girls !?! - but it was more wonderful than words can express to see the other girls and how well they are growing and developing. It's gorgeous. I just wish we lived a little closer! I'll post more info in the next post.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
We're nearly there ... an update on our new home!
Yes! finally - I'm so sorry to all who have been asking for pictures! I've been just a little distracted :)
Our new home is getting SO close - finally. We hope to start the move in on the 19th May - that's nearly 2 weeks away! It's such an awesome feeling. Anyway - I'm sure you're more interested in photo's - so here they are....enjoy!
Our new home is getting SO close - finally. We hope to start the move in on the 19th May - that's nearly 2 weeks away! It's such an awesome feeling. Anyway - I'm sure you're more interested in photo's - so here they are....enjoy!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)