At the time of this post, it's only 17 days until my little girl turns two.
But you know what is absorbing so much of my thinking?.....her birth mummy.
I can't help but continue to be drawn into thinking about what she may be going through. How she must be feeling. We pray for Ebony's birth parents every single night - but somehow nothing seems enough. I guess I'm being prepared in some way for how my little girl will feel in the years to come. I frequently get tears in my eyes as I think about where her birth mummy was 2 years ago. The heartache she was most likely suffering knowing that it was only a short time until she had to part with the child she had carried for 9 months. How can she ever know the joy that her pain would bring. How can she ever know the gorgeous girl she has birthed. I don't quite know what to do with the feelings I have - all I can do is continue to pray that somehow, some way Ebony's birth parents know in their hearts that she is safe and happy. I don't know that that's really possible - but I have to try and believe.
Yes - there will come a time when Ebony will be able to read this. I hope more than anything that there is compassion in her heart and that she too understands. It's a risk I know - but at this particular time I don't ever want her to think I didn't think of her birth mummy often. I don't know whether I'll even use the term 'birth mummy' - I probably won't - but at the moment, that's what my heart is feeling.
Again, I just want to thank everyone for their beautiful emails and post - you all make my day so special when I receive your thoughts and kindness. This blog has done far more for me than I ever dreamed it would.
3 comments:
Hi Jen - we are thinking sooo much the same about our daughters :) these feelings are almost overwhelming sometimes. Yes - I can say the same about Elísabet´s birth parents, I do think often of them when I´m looking at her. Not able to imagine why they had to let her go and never to see her again. But their misery is our fortune - that´s just how it is. It´s very hard to deal with all this sometimes but in all we just feel so happy and lucky that we were chosen to be Elísabet´s parents and to be the one to bring her up and see that she´ll have as good life as we can provide her with.
Yes - our girls are turning 2 :) Elísabet on next wednesday - amazing ;)
I´m thinking of you often down under - hehe and I love to see photos of beautiful Ebony and read those beautiful words you writes.
Best wishes and hugs to you all and best to the other in your group.
Love - Kitta & family :)
A lovely post Jen. I don't even have my daughter with me yet, but often wonder about her 'tummy mummy'.
Hi Jen,
Thanks for sharing again... We are not even anywhere close to being allocated our daughter, but, like you I think about our daughter's birth mum and family and what it must be like to be on "the other side" of adoption. I know that there will be tough times with our precious daughter wanting to know (about her) "other mum" and the only way I think I have to deal with this is to pray for her salvation. The miracle of salvation must be even more amazing (if it could actually be "more than" amazing) for an adopted child because salvation and eternal life provides the opportunity for relationships to be restored in a way that can never happen in this world! Daughter, birth mother and life mother, all together and restored perfectly and in a perfect relationship with their Saviour as well, could anything in this life be better than that? Enjoy Ebony's birthday and celebrate the life that she has with great joy! We will be celebrating our youngest's just 2 days earlier...
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