Tuesday, August 29, 2006

A new place to call home

It's happened - here I am in beautiful Mt. Beauty. As I write, the sun is setting over snow capped Mt. Bogong. The peace and serenity of this valley has to be seen to be believed. I know it's not been a good snow season, but it's still spectacular. I go to sleep at night and it is SO incredibly quiet it's hard to describe.

I'm finding the transition more difficult that Graham - he's settled in beautifully and hasn't looked back - I had to remind him on Sunday that I'm leaving behind so much of what and who is important to me. Most of my family and all my friends who have walked the journey of adoption with me over the past 2 years. I know I'll be ok - it's just going to be difficult for a while. I wake up in the morning and there is absolutely NO pressure at all. It's hard to believe after what life was like in Melbourne. I'm not working at this stage - I'm trusting God will open doors if that's what He wants me to do, but I won't be surprised if he simply wants me to "be" for a while and not "do". I feel much better today - yesterday was a tough day. I arrived up here last Wednesday and then had to go back to Melbourne for the day on Saturday. It was fun but exhausting. I guess I'll get used to it!

We're in temporary accommodation which still has beautiful views, but obviously is not the place to put our roots down. I'm praying that this will be where we bring little Ebony Grace home to (because of the timing more so than anything).

Today the CCAA updated their site to show that they have now matched up to 22nd July - not at all what I had hoped. I really hoped they would process to the end of July - but they didn't. What does it mean - who knows? Every month I think the picture will become more clear - but it doesn't. I'm still believing in my heart that we will travel in December - I can't possibly bring myself to believe anything else. I'll deal with it when and if I have to. There is simply too much change happening at the moment for me to try and deal with what may or may not happen. Officially we now have 28 days between when they have referred to (22nd June 05) and when we will be referred (when they reach 19th August 05).

In the meantime I spend hours sending and answering emails explaining how much things have changed over the past week - planning for the new home with Graham and dreaming of what life will look like in the next chapter.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

A year ago today our file was logged in in China.

It's Saturday today and I'm sitting in my room at Mark and Bern's. We returned from our holiday on Queenslands Sunshine Coast on Thursday afternoon. We finally had what I call a "real" holiday. We only hired a car to get to and from the airport - other than that we walked and enjoyed the amazing sunshine. 22-24 degrees almost every day. We had such a beautiful location - we could see the place where the Noosa River enters the ocean at Noosaville - from our bed! (see photo!) Needless to say it wasn't hard to "lay in" in the mornings. We barely went out for meals - we just enjoyed our surroundings and felt totally blessed to be there.

There have been another lot of adoption allocations since I last wrote and the CCAA have now allocated all files received up until the 13th July 2005. We really only have 37 days between when they are up to and our date. What that means I just don't know at this stage. You would think that as we get closer it would be easier to guage - but it's still all guesswork. At least now I really do think that Ebony will be home for Christmas. It's been 1 whole year today since our file was logged in in China. It's also been the toughest year of my life. But I KNOW it will be worth it.
How am I feeling? In total upheaval. We have come home and now we are really unsure of what to do. We are both leaning toward me giving up work and going to live in Mt. Beauty and trusting God that the finances will work. I just don't feel that I could live apart from Graham. It doesn't seem right. I'll know more on Monday and will post soon after, but I think my days in Melbourne are now numbered. We both do.