So, how is kinder going you ask???

Well, we've finally had breakthrough!

There have been 2 weeks now where I haven't been working on a Friday.

The very first week I was asked to stay for the morning. I took Eb to kinder and then went for my walk because I honestly thought it was too early for me to stay a full morning. I told Ebony I was coming back, but didn't make any comment on when. She was a little distressed, but not too bad really. My concern was that she would start to expect me to stay every week if I stayed right from the beginning. It worked out to be a great morning. When I cam back I just observed her for a while and she seems to be coping really well. I then joined in some of her activities and I also helped out in the background. I really enjoyed the morning and loved seeing how well she played and enjoyed herself.
The second week I left her for the first time with a smile and wave! She was happy for me to go.
Although I walked away recognising that a new journey of independence was beginning and recognizing that it was one of those 'lasts'. That brings a tinge of sadness with it. The acknowledgment that Eb is now 'happy' without me. Yes - it is very healthy I know - I'm just being honest about how I was feeling. It's a great thing. I was able to head home and get some work done. I counted the time until I went back to get Eb, but I coped!. I think the other breakthrough this time was that she was basically happy to talk about Lou and Myka and, in her way, she was looking forward to going. It's taken 1.5 terms....but we've go there. Sadly we now have about 6 weeks away with a trip to Melbourne, then a 2.5 week break up to visit Nana and Pa and then school holidays. Hopefully she'll be fine when we return!

Here's some photo's .....

This one is actually taken at home....but I love it!



It was 'fairy day' at Kinder so I was finally able to dress Eb in her Fairy Dress. I've made the decision to keep Eb's hair tied back on Kinder days because of head lice - not my favorite look - but who cares!

How happy!

Kinder

Does this look like the face of a child excited about going to Kinder?



I'm afraid not.
We did a little better today - but not much.
I stayed for 45 mins and in the time I spent time telling Ebony that I would be going BUT that I would come back. Every time we talked about it she started to get upset. I'm trying to hold it together.
Thankfully there was another Mum there whose daughter is doing really well. She had decided to stay and help out and she - so kindly - took Ebony under her wing. This really helped. I was able to leave at about 10am and headed to work. I got the call at about 10.45 and they said to come back about 11am. Once again Eb completely lost it when I saw her - but she was definitely better than last time. I just stayed with her for a while then we left together and I finished off my cleaning with her.
Later that day Angela rang me. She is childcare trained and she wanted to let me know that she thinks Eb will come around. She said there are times when she would suggest that we try again later in the year or next year - but she really believes Eb will be ok. She is also going to stay for the next couple of weeks which could be exactly what it takes for Eb to feel more comfortable.
Praise God for Angela is all I can say at the moment.

What a paradox parenting is. I love this little girl so fiercely and yet I so want her to be comfortable in the big wide world. I wanted her to be able to wave me off - and yet in my heart of heart I harboured a deep desire for her to really miss me. When that time came and she obviously really missed me I felt joy for me and such deep sadness for her. I also thought about the fact that here we spend all the time from when these little children are placed in our arms - nurturing them and helping them to bond with us - and then, at the drop of a hat, a day comes and we expect them to be able to just say 'see ya Mummmy' - a BIG, BIG ask I reckon.

2nd day of kinder

Sorry no photo's.
Today should have been Friday 13th.
It didn't go well at all I'm afraid.
I'd been talking to Ebony quite a bit about Kinder. I felt she was at least a little prepared. I said I would go and then come back.
I got her as settled as I could, but felt really, really uncomfortable inside. Her she was - my little buddy - left in a playground where she was obviously unsure - with 29 other children that she didn't know very well (and mostly been to day care and knew at least one other child well) and two Kinder teachers who she really didn't know at all. Just before I left her I suddenly though - gosh will she even know who to ask if she needs to go to the toilet? I started to have doubts about it all. I toughened up - took her to the lead teacher who is really lovely and told Eb to seek Lou out if she needed to go to the toilet. I said I was going and she seemed unsure but ok.

I got in the car and cried myself to the post office (about 5 mins away) and then the phone rang. I was almost relieved! She was really upset so I jumped back in the car and as soon as she spotted me she went totally hysterical. My heart just about broke. She had picked up a piece of material and was clinging to it like her snugly.
I stayed with her until she was well settled and then (in liaison with the teacher) left. I hid for a short while and was distressed to see that very quickly she became distressed. It was then I made the toughest decision - to walk away. We had agreed that I would come back in 20 mins so I headed of with a heavy heart to drop something in to a friend (who sadly wasn't there for me to cry on her shoulder!) and then went to the bank.

When I arrived back there I got the attention of the aide and she said the Eb kept asking for her snugly and would I go back and get it. I did of course.
When I arrived back there she saw me. She was exhausted and sitting beside the Kinder Teacher sobbing those sobs that I find so hard. She was very glad to see her snugly ... and me. We decided it was best that I stay (it was only about 1/2 way through at this stage). Kinder goes from 9-12.30. She ended up very happy playing there and we finally left at about midday.

Boy what a morning - I think I ended up more emotionally exhausted than she. We'll now wait and see what next week holds....and yes she will be taking her snugly (or one of them) - the Kinder teacher said they often suggest that sort of thing. Wish me luck (or pray if you are that way inclined).

First Kinder

Friday the 13th of all days to start Kinder!...but it didn't live up to it's name....

Well - it happened. Well sort of.

Today was Ebony's first day at Kinder...although I had to be there and it was only 1.5 hours where it will be 3.5 from next week (and Mummy there only if I want to).

So how did it go? Brilliantly really. Thankfully I was a bit on the exhausted side because we had done a BIG trip into Albury the day before and we were leaving for Melbourne later that day so I was a bit out of it anyway....or it could have simply been because I was there. No matter what though - Ebony enjoyed it and I didn't feel sad. She stuck close to me most of the time - but happily played with all the things around her. Painting - finger painting - puzzles - dolls - kitchen - cars....you name it. I think the photo's show the story really - more to come next week when it's the real mccoy!

All set to go in...


my gosh doesn't she look grown up :(


in front of the 'rainbow' garden...


painting was fun!


but not as much as 'finger' painting!