Does this look like the face of a child excited about going to Kinder?
I'm afraid not.
We did a little better today - but not much.
I stayed for 45 mins and in the time I spent time telling Ebony that I would be going BUT that I would come back. Every time we talked about it she started to get upset. I'm trying to hold it together.
Thankfully there was another Mum there whose daughter is doing really well. She had decided to stay and help out and she - so kindly - took Ebony under her wing. This really helped. I was able to leave at about 10am and headed to work. I got the call at about 10.45 and they said to come back about 11am. Once again Eb completely lost it when I saw her - but she was definitely better than last time. I just stayed with her for a while then we left together and I finished off my cleaning with her.
Later that day Angela rang me. She is childcare trained and she wanted to let me know that she thinks Eb will come around. She said there are times when she would suggest that we try again later in the year or next year - but she really believes Eb will be ok. She is also going to stay for the next couple of weeks which could be exactly what it takes for Eb to feel more comfortable.
Praise God for Angela is all I can say at the moment.
What a paradox parenting is. I love this little girl so fiercely and yet I so want her to be comfortable in the big wide world. I wanted her to be able to wave me off - and yet in my heart of heart I harboured a deep desire for her to really miss me. When that time came and she obviously really missed me I felt joy for me and such deep sadness for her. I also thought about the fact that here we spend all the time from when these little children are placed in our arms - nurturing them and helping them to bond with us - and then, at the drop of a hat, a day comes and we expect them to be able to just say 'see ya Mummmy' - a BIG, BIG ask I reckon.