Friday, February 20, 2009

2nd day of kinder

Sorry no photo's.
Today should have been Friday 13th.
It didn't go well at all I'm afraid.
I'd been talking to Ebony quite a bit about Kinder. I felt she was at least a little prepared. I said I would go and then come back.
I got her as settled as I could, but felt really, really uncomfortable inside. Her she was - my little buddy - left in a playground where she was obviously unsure - with 29 other children that she didn't know very well (and mostly been to day care and knew at least one other child well) and two Kinder teachers who she really didn't know at all. Just before I left her I suddenly though - gosh will she even know who to ask if she needs to go to the toilet? I started to have doubts about it all. I toughened up - took her to the lead teacher who is really lovely and told Eb to seek Lou out if she needed to go to the toilet. I said I was going and she seemed unsure but ok.

I got in the car and cried myself to the post office (about 5 mins away) and then the phone rang. I was almost relieved! She was really upset so I jumped back in the car and as soon as she spotted me she went totally hysterical. My heart just about broke. She had picked up a piece of material and was clinging to it like her snugly.
I stayed with her until she was well settled and then (in liaison with the teacher) left. I hid for a short while and was distressed to see that very quickly she became distressed. It was then I made the toughest decision - to walk away. We had agreed that I would come back in 20 mins so I headed of with a heavy heart to drop something in to a friend (who sadly wasn't there for me to cry on her shoulder!) and then went to the bank.

When I arrived back there I got the attention of the aide and she said the Eb kept asking for her snugly and would I go back and get it. I did of course.
When I arrived back there she saw me. She was exhausted and sitting beside the Kinder Teacher sobbing those sobs that I find so hard. She was very glad to see her snugly ... and me. We decided it was best that I stay (it was only about 1/2 way through at this stage). Kinder goes from 9-12.30. She ended up very happy playing there and we finally left at about midday.

Boy what a morning - I think I ended up more emotionally exhausted than she. We'll now wait and see what next week holds....and yes she will be taking her snugly (or one of them) - the Kinder teacher said they often suggest that sort of thing. Wish me luck (or pray if you are that way inclined).


san3huis said...

HOLD ON! SHE CAN DO IT! This is important for her (even though she doesn't feel that way)!
I recognize your feeling and the behaviour Eb is showing... very heavy stuf... This is the beginning of letting her grow up and loosen the thread.
Hug from San

san3huis said...

SHE CAN DO THIS! This is important for her (and you)! Give it some time... this is the first step in letting go. Loosening up the thread will give Eb space to grow up from this sweet child to a wonderfull adult person.
I recognize your heartbreak.
Hugs from San

Mendy said...

Hang in the Mummy! She'll catch on and before long....she'll tell you bye-bye! Thinking of you and sending prayers and hugs your way!

Chelley said...

How tough for you....

BIG MUMMY hugz for you!!!

Kagen was the same when he started preschool! and so was Arliah to the point were I took her out for 6 months and tried again...

In worked for Arliah the 6 months gave her the little bit more time to get use to the idea... We talk about going to preschool etc... Also I had asked a few "different" people to watch Arliah have a short period of time in that 6 months...

TO get her use to me leaving and coming back.. With me only going for maybe 30mins or so

Anonymous said...

Wow Jen - that's quite a day! I'll pray that she settles really quickly or that God shows you a better way!
Love lots, Bern

Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

She will get there... to the point where she will want you to leave... sorry to say that... soon you will be cramping her style :) Though having said all that... I too would be having my heart broken... be tough!

Chelley said...

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