Tuesday, May 03, 2011

First night apart - and 5 and almost 3 quarters

So much change - so much learning - so much happening.

This weekend was the first time in 4 years, 4 months and 6 days that I have woken up without you in the same house as me. I had a photography course to go to in Melbourne and decided to take the plunge and have a try of a night without me. In the end I left at about 4.30pm on Saturday and you were fine....I on the other hand struggled with tears for some time in the car. I arrived in Melbourne and was pretty exhausted. Watched some TV and then fell into bed. Woke at 7am and it was a rush to get out of the house and get to Abbotsford to meet a friend by 8am so I had no time to think about it too much (I did have a drawing you had done by my bed and in my view in the car I might add!). I had breakfast with a friend I met through the last photography course so I couldn't be rude and call home until just as the course started. Of course you didn't want to talk to me did you!!!! - you were way too busy...watching TV! Daddy had let you watch from 7-9am - unheard of if you were home with me :) I let it go and got involved in my course. I wasn't able to call until it finished at 4pm and then I sat in the car and listened to your gorgeous little voice and questions for about 15 minutes. It's so sweet to hear you little voice over the phone. I was finally able to get away and get home to you as quickly as I could. You were sound asleep, but I had to go and give you big hugs and kisses! So - it went far better than I expected so I do feel much better about doing this again.

One of the big changes I'm noticing at the moment is your sense of being wronged - or maybe it's your sense of justice (even if it's a little out of place at times). You can really feel hurt when I've said something that has hurt you. This change has come to the fore fairly suddenly. I love that you are now aware and I must say I do get it wrong at times and I'm glad you can express what you are feeling. I'm learning so much about being a mummy to a prep child - you are learning so much and growing so fast. Wherever is that pause button! xx

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