18 months old and 8 weeks with us

My little toddler is now 18 months old. We'll never know what time she was born like so many pieces of her past. But we do know one thing - that she was born for us. She fits into our family like a hand into a glove and we can't imagine life without her.
She now has 16 teeth - her eye teeth are through and so are her 1st molars. She's healthy, happy and full of fun and giggles. She still absolutely loves people (especially little ones). She's still not saying a lot, dadadad, nananan and the occasional mumumum, but she's become far more aware of words - when I say get the ball - she goes to the ball, when I say clap hands, she claps them without me doing it. She's eating lots, lots more now (mashed up vegies! yay) and fruit and custard.
It doesn't worry me in the slightest that the clothesline is barely ever empty now - there are constantly toys to step around (or fall over!) and usually a little hand wrapped around my leg. It's what I've dreamed of - what I've longed for. I don't want to waste one single moment - I'm totally besotted by my little girl. I've never found tears of joy come to my eyes so easily - I never knew you could love a child more and more with each heartbeat - I didn't know my heart was capable of this sort of love - but it is and there are so, so many more heartbeats in our future.
God truly blessed us when He gave us the gift of our little Ebony. Here's some moments for you to enjoy.

Was there really life before....

Ebony! I can't believe how this little girl fills my days. It's 10.30pm and I'm seeing photo's of her come up on my screen saver and all I want to do is wake her up and hug her and hold her to me and just love her. She's my dream - she's my reality. She's everything and I can't believe how much she is to me after only 44 days. What will it be like in a few years.
My back is so much better and I'm just loving my time with Ebony. Forget the housework! ..... (I can't believe I said that!) We've had so much fun this week. Monday we went to 'playgroup' for the first time. We both enjoyed it and my niece - Jess - who was visiting, came along and took some great photo's (she enjoyed it too!). Tuesday Ebony and I travelled into Wodonga to choose tiles and lighting for the new home. She was a gem! Didn't sleep much, but sure enjoyed her time with mummy (and mummy with her!). She also had her first attempt at saying 'mummy' - more a 'n' than a 'm' - but a start. She's also attempted kissing! So many milestones each day - I could write and write - but I'll just post some photo's for you instead!

Will this be the last time?

Things have changed so much in such a short time. That scared little girl that would kinda snuggle in at times is now going at 100 miles an hour! When she gets to sleep she sleeps really well. 10-12 hours overnight and 2-3 during the day. But getting her to sleep can be very difficult! The one thing I'm doing that I never thought I would, is staying with her until she falls asleep. If we try to leave her she just screams. My reason for doing this is because she has been surrounded by noise and children/people all her life in the Orphanage and to put her in a quiet room is really hard for her. I'm not sure how/when we'll break this pattern, but I may well wait until we're in the new home. That will be yet another adjustment for her. I need to get a portable CD player for her room so we can play music for her. Sometimes it only takes a few minutes to get her to sleep - other times it can take 3/4 to 1 hour! I think it has a lot to do with how overtired she is. The less overtired, the easier to get her to sleep. Here's photo's taken tonight of her falling asleep in my arms on the couch. This sure doesn't happen often now and I'll never know when it will be the last time - but I'll try to savor every time it does happen as if it's the last. It's trully a beautiful feeling and I could sit and watch her sleep forever.

Oh! yes...we are still building a home aren't we???

Gosh - how time flies! Here I am saying on the 25/2 that I would post in a few days...sure! I can't believe that was a week and a 1/2 ago :)
Life is settling down somewhat. Yes I'm going to include photo's of our new home's progress I promise. It's moving along quite well really and we hope to be in by mid to late March. What a joy that will be. I love living where we are, but I'm just getting a bit over walking out to the garage to try and find things from boxes so frequently!
Ebony...now Ebony news.....She's beautiful, adorable, smiling, happy, EATING, full of fun and being a generally adorable toddler. She even likes vegemite..... Yes - I'm enjoying here more and more each day. We still have bad days or at least bad 'times', but all in all she's settling in very well. We had to travel back to Melbourne last weekend and it was a VERY full on few days. She got to meet more people than I could point a stick at I think and she was incredibly good and happy with almost everyone. We had a bit of a melt down the first night we were there - and I wondered if we had put her through change too quickly - and possibly we did. She seemed to be absolutely terrified. Interestingly the next few days were like a dream. She is cutting 4 eye teeth and 4 molars - so that could be all it was. She's a toddler....who would really know?????
She has started to really learn things - now if we ask her to clap her hands (without actually doing it ourselves) she claps! That happened last Tuesday 30/1 and melted me. It was like a huge relief to see that she was starting to comprehend. Now she can put her hands on her head when we ask her too along with a couple of other small things. The local Maternal Health Nurse visited on Friday night and she's a bit concerned about Ebony's development - but I truly believe that she's just not up with children who have lived the first 16 months of their life in an Orphanage. I don't want to bury my head in the sand, but I also trust my instincts. I'll do all that is suggested (OT and Audiologist etc), but I feel quietly confident she'll pass with flying colours.
She also had her first time in an in-ground pool yesterday and she absolutely loved it! It was a delight to see. I actually decided to buy her a small wading pool - which we tried out tonight and she had a ball! She loves water!
Her eating is improving no end. I can't believe she's the same child we brought home 3 weeks ago today.
I look at her beautiful little face and I can see how much her demeanor has changed. She had a long face when we first met her - now it seems much more round (does that sound stupid?). It's like her little face reflects how much happier she is.
Graham and I still look at her and both our eyes fill with tears. (I've included a picture of the 'crocs' daddy couldn't resist buying for her !!!) We are so in love with her. God sure knew what He was doing when He gave us her! She is very independent, but she's also very loving and so beautifully happy. Here you are....enjoy some beautiful photo's.

And here's our beauty one month on....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Bm-X1chzVI

1 month along and lots of cold cups of tea!

Has it been a month? In some ways it seems like forever and in other ways it seems like yesterday....since what? Since my life was turned upside down :) ... I have made SO many cups of tea and found them cold some time later!
I want to take a moment to thank all the wonderful people that gently and kindly left posts - either privately or publicly - in response to my entry last Friday. You are wonderful people that put my heart at ease - your honesty had me weeping at times and I appreciate your wisdom and your willingness to share your heart and your thoughts with me.
I think the back pain I've been experiencing has coloured so much of my journey at this point. I had 2 really good days (in comparison to others) on Monday and Tuesday - and then yesterday morning I redid my injury, only this time it was on the left side of my back not the right. The pain has been overwhelming. I've had a lot of surgery in the past and put up with a lot of pain - but day after day of pain like this is something I've never had to deal with. It gives me a far greater understanding of what my mum and my husband have had to endure. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
Needless to say - I just haven't been able to enjoy Ebony in the way I would so love to - but I do know that time will come. She is still melting my heart at times and pulling my heart out of my chest at other times. She swings from the happiest little girl to the angriest little girl in a heartbeat - but I now understand this is common with children who have never experienced love. Can you imagine that? Never to have experienced deep love at the age of 17 months. She doesn't know for sure yet that we are going to stay in her life - she doesn't know that we love her and would never leave her or harm her - she doesn't know who we are - she doesn't know what stability is or what a 'home' is. No wonder she swings in her moods. She desperately wants to be held all the time - which has been incredibly difficult for me. Graham has been able to stay home as much as he can - but there's a price to pay for that too with him being under so much pressure to build a home and provide an income too. I couldn't do this without him at the moment - he's been the shining light in a very dark tunnel. Graham and Ebony are bonding so well - she really wants him most of the time and as much as I'm delighted about it, it also breaks my heart because I just can't be what she needs at the moment. I'm glad God knows - 'cause I sure don't.
Yesterday we had some wonderful friends visit and stay for dinner (which the darling Teresa cooked so I could rest!). It was great and we took the children down to the creek and you'll see somem of the result in the photo's below. It was lovely family time and I'm looking forward to more of these when our home is built!.
Well, I'll post some photo's of the progress on the house in the next day or so, but in the meantime, here's a couple of photo's of my little angel.

Day 27 part b

Day 27

17 months old today

Day 17 part b

Day 17 part a

Video taken on day 9

A video taken on our Forever Day

Goodbye handbag - hello baby bag

How different could life be? I know all you who are mums already knew what it would be like - I never for one minute thought it would be easy - and it isn't. I love my little girl with a kind of love that I never knew possible. I now know that saying "you didn't grow under my heart - but you grew in it" is more true than ever. I would die for this little human being. She fills my day with sunshine and, at times, with showers. But I must say it's so different having to prepare a nappy bag every time I go out now - mostly my handbag stays on the couch these days. As long as I have my keys and purse the rest doesn't seem to matter. Even make up has become a bit of a thing of the past!
I don't know why more people in the adoption community don't talk about the difficulties that happen when you return - anyone I have spoken to has said what I'm going through is normal - yet no-one prepares you. I want to prepare others for the gamete of emotions that happen and for the dependence, even from a now 17 month old, that can happen. We talk so much about attachment of the child to us - but attachment from us to the child is never mentioned.
There are times when I look in my daughters face and think "who are you to me really" - what does mother/daughter really mean? What does it mean to you and what does it mean to me?
What I'm about to say could open me to criticism - but if you know me and know my heart you will know I'm simply being honest because I want to help anyone else who is about to embark on this leg of the journey. I love my little girl and I would never, ever, ever go back.
Ebony is far more demanding of my time than I would have ever expected - is that wrong? No. She's never had attention like she is getting now - she has had us 24/7 for the 4 weeks since she was placed in our arms. Now we are home and life is different. There have been suitcases to unpack, clothes to wash (and try to hang out), meals to cook (and eat if possible) - bills to pay, a house to build, a daddy who has to go to work at some stage. Ebony is not getting our attention the same way she was and she's really struggling. She follows me around and constantly wants to be held or carried (VERY difficult when you have bulged disc in your back which happened 12 hours before we left China and is another story for another day), but it's difficult even if you don't have a bad back. She can't seem to play happily on her own. We have very short windows where she will - but they are very short. I guess this is normal under the circumstances.
I also don't want to keep saying no to her when she touches the TV/computer/fire place - so what do I do? I think I've worked than one out - I distract her. I say a firm 'no', but then I remove her and take her to her toys. She does return eventually and we go through the same process. She is only 17 months old today and is not developed as a normal 17 month old would be - so I need to understand how new all this is to her too.
Toys - that's another interesting topic. Very little seems to keep her happy at the moment. I'm about to try to introduce a few and take away a few. I don't want her to have too many at once - but I'm not wanting to be mean either.
Sleeping - at the moment we've decided that we will get her off to sleep with us around and then transfer her to her cot. I'm not sure how we'll break this habit, but I know we will eventually. She has spent almost no time on her own since she was found - so that's a tough one. She's waking up in her cot in the morning and copes with that fine. Her sleeping pattern is wonderful - she sleeps 12+ hours most nights, although we had one night when we got home where she was awake from 3.30am until 5.45am (then slept until 10.30am)! We are trying to get her into a pattern. She will sleep 2-3 hours during the day too. She really is a wonderful sleeper and I'm so grateful for that - it gives me a chance to get some things done. I want to be able to play with her, but my back is making it almost impossible to get down on the floor. More than anything at the moment I want my back to get better! then maybe I'll start to know a new kind of different.
Eating - Ebony doesn't want to eat. She has 3 bottles a day which are a mixture of milk formula and rice cereal. The Orphanage also put glucose in her bottle but I've managed to wean her off that. She will eat cruskits now and a tiny bit of cheese and she'll put saltanas in her mouth but won't swallow them. I'm looking forward to seeing the Pediatrician and her doctor next week that's for sure!
She really does love her bath and that's a blessing and she also loves her stroller. We want to try and do a family outing soon where she can explore and see a bit of the outside world. It has been SO hot here that we have been inside most of the time - it's just too hot to go out. That's probably not helping either.

Well - there is so much more I want to say, but will leave it for a few days. I really don't know how much of what I'm feeling is due to my back. Maybe the sun would be shining much brighter if I wasn't in pain. I'm still a very, very happy Mummy, I'm just a bit confused and I guess all new Mummys go through all these feelings.

A journey of no return

Wow - how much can a life change in such a short period of time. Ebony has only been part of my life for 2 weeks and it seems like forever in the best possible way.
Ebony you have filled my life and my heart to overflowing - you have made part of me complete in a way that I never knew possible. You fill my days in a way that I never thought possible. (and we're not even home yet!)
You are such a little gem. For all you have been through you are learning to love us so well. You still have a bit of detachment, but all in all you now know who provides for you. I pray, as the years unfold, you learn more about who really provides for you.
You are an amazing sleeper - you travel well most of the time, although you have had your moments. You dance with your daddy - you love your bath - you smile readily but you also know your mind and when you don't get what you want you are sure to let me know. I'm learning to say 'no' because I know it will be for your good in time to come (and mine!).
You say 'dad dad dad' although we know this had a different meaning when you were in the Orphanage. You wave your beautiful little hands often, which we now know happens because of singing along to 'twinkle twinkle little star' in Chinese.
You are so beautiful - you have a gorgeous round face and LOTS of raven black hair. You have perfect almond eyes and a rosebud mouth. You have a slight underbite that we will have looked at on our return. You came to us with silky smooth skin that is now very dry and rashy - we'll have to have that looked at too. You have 8 teeth, although there is at least 1 that is beginning to poke through.
You wake up so beautifully in the morning - no hurry at all (could be a problem when we need to get you up for school though....). You are a happy girl who plays really well with the other girls - although you are starting to join in a bit more (where you were just sitting and watching before) and can be a bit rough on the littler ones.
You are walking now - which my heart isn't ready for but my head knows has to happen. You are getting very confident. All of a sudden we are having to move things out of reach (already!).
How my heart swells - how easily a smile comes over my face when I watch you. How grateful I am to God for the gift He has given us. A week and we'll be back in Melbourne and you'll get to meet many others who have waited and prayed with us for you. I love you sweetheart with a love that I never knew possible.

Shanghai

I want to say a big thankyou to eveyone who has posted comments - I have tried to respond but now the emails are down again - so please know how grateful I am and that you will receive a response as soon as my emails come up - they are all sitting in the 'outbox'. That is if I know who you are of course! Susan J I am receiving yours but for some reason any emails I have sent to you keep bouncing! Thanks for posting though!
Well today is day 2 in Shanghai - yesterday ws the medical day and you can read about it at www.ebonysfootprints.com You may also need to look at photo's there as the connection here is SO slow - I was up until after midnight trying to post photo's on the website!
Ebony is filling our hearts with joy. She is just a gem and we learn more and more about her every day. She still isn't eating solids although she is trying a bit more than she had been which is a start. She is a great sleeper and although I know there aren't photo's of her smiling (which I hadn't realized until mum pointed it out) she does smile! We are going to work at getting a photo at the right time today I promise.
We are back on a bus today, but at least the tours today and tomorrow are only 1/2 days. If Ebony can get her middle of the day sleep in her cot she is much, much better. It's very cold here 7 degrees today and 4 tomorrow, so we're really rugging up or the locals tell us off! They are beautiful people really - although far more beggars here than we have seen anywhere.
Well my heart continues to swell and I often find joyful tears in my eyes as I learn more and more about my daughter. Life is so different for her and yet she seems to be adjusting so well. She is still besotted with her daddy - just like I am :) I love seeing them together - it also fills my heart with such joy. What a journey - what a life ahead for us. We both are looking forward to bringing Ebony home to all the people who already love her - yet we also want to savour every moment we have here - loving her people and the Country that gave her to us.

Freedom

We had our first day of freedom yesterday and another one today. What a blessing. Our little girl slept for almost 3 hours! We are delighted more and more each day with the progress she is making. It would be very easy to think that she is coping completely. But I'd be a fool. She has had such major adjustment and at her age it's even harder. She is so much fun, but she can turn from fun to tears in seconds (yes I can hear all the mums saying that's normal :). I just keep observing. She is such a fun little girl and yet when we took her down to the playroom yesterday, she was very subdued. She's still not walking really. But she's very, very close. We just took it very easy yesterday and didn't venture far from home. Today we're going to the local department store and then back to the souvenir shop to have a bit of a better look around. Then mummy's doing a final shop before we leave here. We will be posting one box home for sure! Life is so much fun with Ebony in it - this last week has been totally filled with the high of highs and the low of lows - with confusion - joy - tears - laughter - pain - overwhelming love - uncertainty - tiredness - completness - and a peace that can only come (for me) through knowing all these emotions through my daughter.

A brand new year

...and who would have thought a year ago today that I would be in China this New Year with a beautiful new blessing from God in the form of Ebony.
I must mention that I can't get on emails at the moment because of the cable that has been damaged through the incident in ?Taiwan? I'll be back on line as soon as possible - but can't at the moment!
I don't want to talk a lot about what we did today - I just want to talk about the joy in my heart. The song that is there and wasn't before. I'm so 'filled' by this little girl who really doesn't understand or know me yet. She looks into my eyes now and I can see her confusion. I can read her pain and yet her joy. She is confused and there are times when I know she doesn't know how to express herself.
In her allocation photo's she was waving (look back on the posts around the 8/9th November) and we thought it was so sweet - now it is part of every day. She is the only one of the six that do this hand movement and we're told it's a game - but we love it to bits and so do the rest of the group. It's become her signature. The signature of a beautiful, happy and very sweet child. Yes she has her moments - but her general nature is incredible. We couldn't be happier.
I had to go and do some shopping for a few hours today and I truly missed her - I missed our family. It's a wonderful and special feeling and we could never go back to where we were - we will NEVER be the same. She is already filling our lives to overflowing. I know there will be difficult times in the future - but that will be when it will be - it's isn't now. Now it's just joy in the season.

We're back on line

It has been the most amazing few days - my heart has been all over the place. I'm emotionally exhausted. I am SO glad we took the journey down to Ebony's Orphanage - but I don't know that my life will ever be the same because of it. It was a wonderful day and a horrible day all in one. The Orphanage staff were so helpful and so grateful. I shed so many tears on that day. As we pulled up at the Orphanage the tears started and by the time we were sitting all together at the Directors table I was weeping and couldn't stop. He wanted to thank us and yet all I wanted to do was express my gratitude to them for looking after my little girl so well.
Seeing the inside of the Orphanage was a huge shock. I guess it's probably one of the better Orphanages, but I don't know that anything prepares you for what we saw. There were so many children that were all in their cot's at 11am in the morning. A few were sleeping and most were standing - some crying. There was the smell of urine and just a group of cots cluttered together. Their resources are so low. We were shown were Ebony spent the first 16 months of her life - she slept right next to Mei Gethen - the youngest child in our group. I had actually thought the day before that they had a bit of a connection.
We also got to peep in the nursery section and their I got to 'love on' a beautiful little hair lip/cleft palate baby. She was beautiful and she was very sad. I did all I could in a small space of time. But I've walked away trying to work out what more I can do to help them.
The next part of our journey (after lunch) - was the girls finding places. We were first and nothing could have prepared me for the gamet of feelings that fell on me. I was distraught and confused and so, so sad. What makes the world such that mummy's and daddy's have to leave their child in a place like this? I don't know that I will ever fully understand. I understand the parents and my heart cries out for their pain - but how could a government turn a blind eye to the realities? I was just a complete wreck for the rest of that day and woke up the next day feeling like I had been hit really hard. I still can't come to terms with it and yet I'll be eternally grateful we were given the opportunity. There are now fewer questions in my heart.
I just look at my little girl - at the miracle she is and I weep for the carers who have lost her and the mummy that had to make the difficult choice and who is missing out on such a joyful, happy and beautiful little girl. Here are some photo's. The ones with me with my hair up are firstly at the orphanage and secondly with the gold pillar's behind me - at the finding place. The third with me is on a tour the next day - loving being a mum to a sleeping beauty and finally in the bath - happy and loving it!

It's been so long!

I'm so sorry it's been so long. I am updating www.ebonysfootprints.com - so please just visit there in the "travel updates" tab and you'll see all that's been happening. Life is so busy being a new mum! But I will add some photo's for you to see if you can't get across to Ebony's site. She is an absolute miracle and she's beautiful beyond belief. We are both so in love with her and she is the happiest baby! She laughs so easily and she adores her daddy. She's not eating any solids yet - but at 10.5kg she has a bit in reserve! I had a day of worry, but I've decided to just keep up her fluids and she'll eat when she's ready. Well it's late and we have to be packed and ready to head by plane down to Ebony's Orphanage at 7.30am (I have NO idea how we'll do it - but we will!). Bless you all and thanks so much for your prayers.

and now it is the day!

Well the day has arrived. My darling little Ebony - you are in a car - probably for the first time in your life - on your 7+ hour journey towards us. My heart is just so full of love and anticipation. My arms are empty this morning - but by tonight my arms and my heart will be filled. You are already loved so much more than any words could possible describe. You are loved deeply and completely by us - but also by many other beautiful and precious people in whose heart you have grown for a long time. You have grown in mine since long before I even knew that you would come from a Country that I had never seen. Now I have seen it and experienced it and I just love your Country - the place that will always be special to me - because it gave me you.

I cry deep down inside for your mum - for the pain she has had to endure in giving you away - for the empty place in her heart that will always be there because she will never know the joy of you. She gave us that gift and I will be eternally grateful to her. Bless you sweetheart - my hopes for you are that you will know true joy in this life - that you will know the presence of God in your heart - that peace and love will be your purpose - that you will have a quiet strength that will help you through the many trials and tribulations of this life. I pray you will have a long life - that you will have a family of your own to give you a sense of continuity. I love you my little Angel - with a love that I don't understand at the moment, but I'm sure will make sense as the days unfold. Be happy - be blessed - be still and know the peace that transcends all understanding - on this - one of the most difficult days of your life.....and one of the happiest days of mine.

It's almost THE DAY

What can I say at a time like this - the feelings are so overwhelming. I'm just so filled with anticipation and I can't believe that tonight I lay my head on the pillow for the last time as a mummy in waiting. I just have tears of joy running down my face as I think of what tomorrow will hold - as I think of the amazing gift God has given us. My little angel is laying in a cot on the same soil as I am on today. She has no idea at all of what tomorrow holds for her. Please pray for her that she will be filled with peace as she takes the 7+ hour journey by road from Suixi to Guangzhou. I've moved beyond excitement. I have peace in my heart and am ready for sleep. Thanks so all the beautiful people who have emailed me - you have made this time even more special and have helped keep my eyes wet! I feel totally blessed and loved and supported. I have tried to email some back, but for some reason I can't through the blog from here - I will on my return. So - it's time for sleep - the sound of carols is filtering through into our room. I will sleep well and dream of sleeping beside my little girl tomorrow night and loving her in a way that I have never, ever know.

We're nearly on our way

I thought I'd post a photo or two of where the house is now at - no that's not rain and fog - it's the deck after it's just been stained and smoke! - no views at the moment. We have a bit of work happening whilst we're away, but not a lot.
Well - the time has come. I'm doing all the finishing touches and have finally finished packing. I'm so excited! So - for now - it's farewell. Hopefully, all going well, I'll post lots from China so you can kinda walk with us. Did I mention that I'm excited! I've had so little sleep and I can't see it getting any better. I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone for their love and support and to wish you all a very happy and peaceful Christmas. 'Talk' to you from China.........I'm not sure if I mentioned that I'm REALLY excited....

After the dust has settled

I thought I would show you a couple of photo's taken by a visiting fire-fighter last Sunday. These are taken at 'The Pondage" which is where I walk or ride around and it's about 4.5 kms from where we are living and about 2.5kms from the new home. Everything seems to have settled down now and the hot spots are more around Bogong Village and Falls Creek. The danger is still there, but not so bad. I'm taking photo's and insurance policies with me to Melbourne just to be safe. I've finally packed today - so were ready to go - Ebony has one suitcase and we are sharing one! I can't beleive we've actually been able to get everything into one suitcase! It's a miracle on it's own. We leave for Melbourne on Tuesday and then we fly out on Thursday. I have cried a lot today - just feeling overwhelmed and trying to come to terms with my excitement and nerves! What an incredible 6 weeks it has been. I've slept so little compared to normal. I guess that's just preparing me for motherhood!

How can this be happening?

  I've just returned from 5 days in Melbourne - it was exhausting and today I'm trying to come to terms with getting this home back into some sort of order and......bushfires. Yes - right on our doorstep. If you believe in God - please pray for us. It is such a stressful time with trying to build a home, sell franchises, get ready to travel and meet our longed for little daughter and try to cope with bushfires within 1000m of our new home. I've posted a photo to help you understand what we're contending with. It was taken last night on one of the visits we did to check on things and it was taken from the deck of our new home! I'll post again in a day or so when things settle down a bit

Busy, busy, busy

Time is going so quickly - I can't believe that in 3 weeks from this moment, I'll have my much longed for daughter in my arms. I think of it and I get tears in my eyes. This has been the most amazing journey. I don't think I could even truly describe the feelings that I have been through in the past month. I'm still coming to terms with packing for a child when I've never had one. Packing for a child when I don't really know her size. Packing for a child when...well...when I'm totally confused about what to pack! Here's a photo of what I'm trying to sort through! I know it will all work out - but it's very hard to get my head around. I'm actually NOT that busy - I'm just loving this period of my life. It is our 14th wedding anniversary on Wednesday - but we leave for Melbourne in the early hours of Thursday morning, so we celebrated on Sunday with a trip to Bright and a lovely afternoon together. This is our last season as a couple. I want us to make this time special - amongst trying to build a home, run a business in Melbourne and establish a business here! Sure!
Our relationship seems so rock solid at this time. We have huge stresses on us - but together we're making it making it. I'm not sure if I have a Heckle or a Jeckle when I call Graham during the day - but by the end of the day we're mates - and that's the main thing.
I've also include a photo of our 'temporary' nursery...... Yes, the mosquito net will have to go! but I love it at the moment. It can be part of her bedroom once she's in a bed. You have to give a girl credit for being a girl!
We've also progressed with our home the best we can - it is just coming along so well as far as I'm concerned thanks to our dear friend Steve Beattie and his wife Marg (for letting him go!) ... here are some of the images of where we're at. .... it probably looks a bit strange because it's a corragated iron home and this is the back, but it will look wonderful when it's finished! Keep watching for further developments......

We have our travel dates

It's been confirmed. We will leave on Thursday 21st December at approximately noon - then spend a night and part of a day in Hong Kong and late on the 22nd we'll catch a train to Guangzhou. It's meant to be a beautiful train journey where we will see quite of a lot of the countryside. We're all looking forward to that! We will arrive later on the 22nd at the place we will see our daughters for the first time - The White Swan in Guangzhou. We are able to take a trip to the Orphanage where Ebony spent the first 16 months of her life - it's another 1 hour plane trip, but we are so excited to be able to do this. We have been in contact with many others from all over the world that have/are - adopted/adopting from the same Orphanage. It's an amazing world on the internet. We have learnt so much.

We are so excited to think that in 5 weeks we will have our little girl in our arms forever.

We received an update on her and she now has 8 teeth! (less for us to worry about :)

I thought I'd add a photo taken when we saw Ebony's photo's for the first time along with a photo of our 'batch buddies' from Benalla who celebrated their new daughter's 1st birthday with out on Sunday :(

 

Life

Has it really only been 10 days since I last wrote? I feel like I've lived a lifetime in that time.
Just after my last post I left to meet Graham in Benalla (he'd been down in Melbourne since Wednesday night) and we had a weekend with the other members of our 'Batch' that will travel together to China. It was a wonderful weekend with lots of joy, tears, fun and exchanging of gifts. Came back to Melbourne Sunday night and then we got about filling out forms etc and trying to get back to a normal life. Wednesday I had the final sesison of my "Asian cooking class" which was great fun. I hadn't planned to go back to Melbourne until Monday 20th to lodge the immigration paperwork for Ebony, but I found out Wednesday that it had to be done ASAP, so Mandy from Benalla and I had to head down there on Thursday. It was a loooonnnng day. I was up at 4.30am and didn't return until 9.30pm! I was exhausted and an absolute mess on Friday. I then had Children's Ministry training on Saturday from 9.30-2 which I loved but was still feeling very exhausted. Sunday was Church, then lunch with one of the lovely couples from Church and their children and then we were of to Benalla again for the night and on to Melbourne Monday.
Yes, the house is progressing! Things are a bit slower simply because we have so much else to contend with - but it's happening. I've included the latest photo's.

Introducing our little girl....

We welcome you to the place in our hearts that you have filled for sooo long - we love you already, without seeing you in person. My heart weeps happy tears every time I look into your beautiful eyes. I love that you look so happy and that you are waving to us.

We are waiting for you our little miracle and will be there to bring you home as soon as we possibly can.

We have a daughter.....

Firstly - I want to say a special thank you to all the beautiful people who have emailed and left messages on my blog that I can't respond too because there are no email addresses - you are truly special people who have touched my heart. I'm overwhelmed by your kindness and your love and wish I could tell you personally!

Now for our daughter! her name will be Ebony Grace Xing Boote. She was born on 20th August, 2005 (one day after our file was logged in - in China). Her Chinese name is SUI, Hua Xing and she is way down South in Suixi Orphanage, Guangdong Province in Guangzhou (I'm learning lots of new names!).

I took Mum and Dad (who are visiting) up to see the new home at about 10.30am yesterday and I (luckily) diverted the home phone to the mobile. Boy am I glad I did! We got the call! - I didn't expect it until Wednesday night and it came at 11am! I was so glad to be surrounded by people we love and who love us. It was lovely. I couldn't believe it - I was running around the block trying to find pen and paper - then I had to have a long conversation with the Social Worker who called me - all about the home we are living in and her having to come and do an assessment - when all I wanted to do was get of the phone and shout it from the rooftop!

As soon as I hung up, I burst into tears of joy!

What a day it has been and then a night! I've slept all of 3 hours - probably preparing me for motherhood!

Well, we don't have a photo yet - that comes tomorrow - but I will post as soon as we get it!

Thank you Lord!

It has happened - the CCAA changed their website at approximately 8pm this evening and we're included! Yes - I'm a Mum - I don't know what to say - or think - or do! My heart has been so numb for the last week. It has been an incredible roller coaster - but now I have the confirmation I've waited so long for. How can I put it into words! other than to thank my wonderful God for His faithfulness to me - to us!

Here's the post on the CCAA site I've waited SO long to see.......the bottom paragraph says that placements are finished for all files to the 25/8 - we are 19/8 - so it definitely includes us.

The CCAA has finished the review of the adoption application documents registered with our office before December 31, 2005. The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were registered with our office before August 25, 2005.

No news yet with the adoption.....but some for the new home!

Life certainly has its ups and downs - but I'm choosing joy! There is still no news on the adoption front. It WILL happen and part of me can't wait - but I have to wait so I'm going to wait well :) As a result this post is about our developing new home! Here's some updated photo's.....













As you can see - the deck is amazing and it looks so much more like a home with windows in it!. The builders have worked very, very hard and they are due to leave on Wednesday and they won't be back they hope! They are both absolutely exhuasted! The rest will be up to us to organise trades to do. Bye 'till the next post.......

What will today bring?

Good sound sleep is becoming a thing of the past. I guess it's a bit like being in the very last stage of pregnancy. I'm awake far more than normal. I'm up checking emails at ridiculous times of the night. I can't think straight - and yet there is an incredible sense of peace.

We are staying with my brother and sister in law at the moment (and their 2 beautiful little girls!) - my sister in law (Bernie) is checking the CCAA site more often than I am, which is so sweet.

The reality is that we are most likely included in this next lot of referrals - but I really can't fully go there yet. I won't until it's official. I truly thought we would hear Mon or Tues - so I'm hopeful for today.

I don't want to wish away time - I have full faith that all things will happen when they are meant to and I don't want the time to go quickly when Ebony is home - so I must be patient now and enjoy this time and it's excitement.

The next post should be the one I've dreamed about posting for such a long, long time.

If I've ever wondered if I'm doing the right thing....

><

100 good wishes quilt progress

For those of you who aren't aware - I've taken on the project of a 100 good wishes quilt which is a Chinese tradition. If you are interested in being part of this, just leave a comment on my blog (with your email address) and I'll send you what I'm doing. Anyone can participate! It's a gift for little Ebony when she's older and can understand its meaning. I have 24/100 squares (photo of them below) so far......here they are........and thanks so much to all of you who have been able to get their's done. I'm trying to have all the squares in by 30th November.

Today is what some would call Black Friday - not us though!

 

 

Well, don't things change a lot in one week!  I've been laid up after having knee surgery on Monday (everything went incredibly well) and today was my first chance to get back and see the progress.  I was thrilled!  Everyone's been working very hard (except me!).  The first photo shows what will be the kitchen.  The second photos is taken standing in the kitchen looking through the lounge.  The third photo is the view from the office!  Gosh I can't believe how incredible it looks.  We both feel totally blessed.

We've had a few issues this week with engineering and bracing - but so far so good. Trusses should be up in the next day or so and windows arrive on Monday! WOW.

In amongst this we patiently wait for news from China. We have to head back down to Melbourne Monday 23rd as we have a new employee starting and I have to have my post-op 

appointment. I truly hope that during that week we will have really good news!

Life has its twists and turns - but if I can leave it to God it works out as it should.

Our new home has started!

It's been 10 days since I posted. Already 10 days! it's so hard to believe that in another 20ish days we hope to hear the news we've waited SUCH a LONG time to hear. China is celebrating a National holiday this week - so most businesses close down. This could mean referrals are delayed by a week. Only time will tell.

Now for an update on the building. Below is a picture of where we are at as of today. The builders started on Monday 25th September and spent the whole week here (they are staying with us). The were due to go back home to Melbourne today, but ended up leaving on Monday because the frame and trusses have been held up and won't be here until next Monday. Our first delay. I'm actually glad because the home we are living in is ours again (going to have to get used to that changing!). Anyway, the weather was spectacular for the builders last week and they got lots done (and so did we!). We had to come back down to Melbourne on the weekend for Aislinn's Christening in Werribee. It was a LONG weekend, but it was lots of fun. A quiet week for me this week - just catching up on things - doing some craft and getting ready for surgery on my knee on Monday and the builders return.